Tag: Spawn

There’s so much more to it than I ever thought possible.

One year ago

I was told that both my babies were dead. Then that they were both alive. I’d been on bedrest for almost a week, and missing out on the wonderful change in the seasons. Maree made dinner. It was a memorable day.

Today, we went to a local park with friends, ate Lebanese pizza, and then cleaned up loads and loads of broken glass so the kids were safe. Then I sat in the sun and knitted while Inigo and Mark played hide and seek.

Inigo decided today that all of us would die, and then we would find Archie and Aubrey, and then we would all grow up again, and then we would all come home and live happily together.

I think he just invented Buddhism.

Dear friends

Thank you for still being my friend. It’s been bloody hard, and I can’t always show you how much you mean to me, and I recognise that there isn’t much fun involved right now.

I just read this, by a woman who lost friends after her baby was stillborn, and I recognise how lucky I am that you are still there for me.

I mourn those that are not, but I rejoice in you more.

Dentist recap

Inigo has a cavity in his right back lower molar. We took him to a specialist dentist last week, and found out that the enamel on that tooth never formed properly during my pregnancy, so that is why it has rotted. He isn’t in pain, but left untreated it will get worse and cause infections, eventually damaging the tooth underneath (his adult tooth). So we have to do something about it. The specialist quoted us $1800 for the dental work, plus $1200 for a day stay in hospital, plus $600 for the anaesthetist. THe better part of $4,000.

So today we went to my normal dentist for a second opinion. I had my teeth cleaned, while Inigo watched patiently. Then she had a quick look at his teeth while he watched tele in the roof. Then, she did a quick x-ray to determine how bad the decay was.

And then she told me she could treat it in the chair, without a general anaesthetic!!!

Which she then did, all while Inigo watched ABC for Kids. There are serious advantages to rationing TV watching!

All the treatment for both of us cost less than $200, including x-rays. So we went out for sushi and bought some gorgeous wooden blocks, and still felt thrifty.

A shitty, shitty day

Thank you to a dear friend who was there on the other end of the phone when I needed her. Thanks FSM for friends who think it’s ok to sob into the phone, and people who don’t call the police to investigate the crazy lady sobbing into her phone in a car outside their house. And those people who walked past thinking I was dabbing my leaking eyes with a tampon, thank you for not calling the mental health team. It was a Pure Wipe. They are quite absorbent, but do look a lot like tampons when you are sobbing in a car in a quiet suburban street.

Thank you to my parents who want to make it all better for me, but make do with taking the Squish so I can have a day off from pretending to be OK for him.

And the girl in the booze shop who didn’t ask any questions when I bought two bottles of sparkling red and a litre of gin, and then asked for a straw.

There is human kindness everywhere.

(and yes, I am “OK”. No more or less OK than I was yesterday, but today I need to cry).

Mark to the rescue

I wonder what sort of uniform the nerd superhero wears?

There is still a few glitches (can’t leave blog comments), but I have my calendar back, and I have all my blog feeds! Normality is resuming, and I adore my husband. Not just for his good looks!

And tonight is results night. Pizza and red wine are on the menu, my friend Dionne is coming from Newcastle with her kids, and we are going to cover the kitchen in flour and dough while we wait for those crucial text messages. Dionne was in my environmental peace unit, so we are supporting each other.

And tomorrow I am teaching small children to knit. Give me strength!

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And here is a picture of a small boy playing an orange ukelele.

Red Nose Day

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After Archie and Aubrey were born, a grief counsellor from SIDS & Kids came to our house to talk to me. SInce then I’ve been seeing her on and off pretty regularly, and I credit Marybeth with a lot of the progress I have made. Without her, and SIDS & Kids, I hesitate to think where I would be now.

I used to think that all they did was fund medical research into SIDS, but of course they do much more than that. Since SIDS awareness campaigns have massively reduced SIDS deaths, now the bulk of their work is with bereaved families after the loss of a baby or child. They also offer counselling to women who have had miscarriages, and terminations.

While looking for ways I can help out (it’s Red Nose Day this Friday, buy a nose!), I found this website. Renault is donating a dollar (up to $15,000) for every person that uploads a pic to the red nose gallery. Visit rednoseme.com, and upload your own pic – SIDS & Kids will earn a dollar, and you’ll get a silly photo.

No study today

A dear friends mum had surgery to remove a brain tumour today. And when I asked him if he needed someone to be with him, he didn’t say, “no, I’ll be fine”. So I spent the day at the hospital with him and his sister while they waited for the call to tell them that she was ok. The anticipated wait time was 2-3 hours, but it was four hours before the phone rang, and nearly another two before they could go in and see her.

They got 95% of the tumour, but it was malignant, and aggressive. Next up radiation therapy, and possibly chemo.

On the way home from the hospital I learned that one of my uncles has melanoma, and it has spread to one of his lymph nodes.

Please, no more bad news for just a little while…

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And here is a picture of a small boy having a massage in a tropical paradise.