And just in case anyone is worried, this relates to a period of intense stress in the past, and other situations that have been ongoing. Mark ordered this ages ago, and my continuing avoidance of stabbing is worth celebrating.
Am hoping the toys I put in my Mighty Ape shopping cart are delivered tonight.
Just making up numbers, because recording things isn’t one of my strong points.
Squid has been working on year 10 (ish) maths, building skills in patience, research, persistence and resilience. Finding out the skills you need to learn in the face of challenges, something that he hasn’t really been getting from school.
Here is a link to a video that demonstrates why not being challenged is a risk factor for gifted kids.
Right now he is rewriting “The Princess Bride” in Zero Language. Probably not useful from a creative writing perspective, but his handwriting is legible, so we are also calling that a win.
I really don’t give a rats about what level he is working at. What I care about is that he learns how to deal with barriers. How to persist when things get hard. How to use your brain to foster a growth mindset instead of just expecting life to be easy, and to turn to custard when you face a challenge.
We’ve been having lots of conversations about intrinsic Vs. extrinsic motivation, and how to get through the boring tasks so that you have time for the fun stuff. A lot of kids with ADHD struggle with repetitive, boring tasks, and executive function is something that we are explicitly attempting to deal with in our “year off”.
We don’t know yet what next year will look like. I know that Squid would love to go to AGE full time, and I honestly feel like a year of exploration and low demand would be good for the soul. But I can’t see us finding the $20k per year, and I also can’t quite let go of my expectations that he should be able to function in a “normal” school environment.
Maybe, a year of play and exploration will lead to more demand avoidance. But maybe, some cognitive skills training and raising expectations will see him able to integrate back into a mainstream school setting, albeit with a few accommodations.
One reason mainstream school needs to be part of the picture is because of his strong interest in science – teaching chemistry without a lab or a licence to buy chemicals (or having any expertise at all!) isn’t an idea I can get my head around.
This afternoon we switch from the psychology team to the neurodevelopmental team at the Kari Centre. The anxiety for which we were initially referred last year has all but disappeared since leaving school. Two weeks ago, at his own suggestion, Inigo has moved back into his own bedroom to sleep. At the same time, he said he didn’t need an adult to stay with him while he sent to sleep, and has mostly slept by himself all through the night without any input from a parent.
It smells like victory.
Has become a constant companion.
I’m off to Dunedin for Unwind today. Normally Inigo holds my hand for take off and landing, but since he’s not travelling with me, he made me this. A mini Inigo to hold while I’m feeling nervous.
Today was Squid’s first day at AGE. All morning people kept telling me what a great kid he is, and how much they are looking forward to having him around. He practically leapt out of the car to go inside, and left me in the dust. I had some admin stuff to sort out, so I followed him in, and then watched as he marched up the street, deep in conversation with Anne.
I picked him up, and was again told how well he had fit in with the group, how sweet and empathetic he is, and what a lovely addition to the school. He didn’t want to leave. He’s decided on Tuesdays and Fridays as his AGE days, Tuesday for the Chess Master, and Fridays for Dance, Drama, Cooking, Feasting, and Celebration of Learning. And I think Technology and Robotics too.
We have more assessments to come, and we are still waiting for the official paperwork fro the ministry, but for now, it is easy to feel like we have made the right choices for him this year.
Huge thanks to Karen for dropping over an amazing K’Nex set that she has saved from when her kids were budding engineers. It is already taking over the living room!
Tifan is going to stay with Lonely Meow tomorrow. They will socialise her with other cats, have her desexed, and find a terrific home for her.
We are sad, but we grow more attached to her each day, so it’s only going to get harder.