Breaking blog silence

There is something in the air at Club Denistone, and I haven’t wanted to blog about it in fear of jinxing it. Suffice it to say that if you’re in the mood for crossing your fingers and sending some luck our way, it would be greatly appreciated.

Something I can tell you about, is our adventures last night. Sensitive readers may want to look away, because there is yucky stuff involved.

I have reached the second trimester, and am (apparently) supposed to start to feel better.Until last night, I was waiting in naive hope that my energy levels would increase, and my all day constant companion of nausea would fly away. Yesterday I spent a lovely day with Mandy, pottering about the house, having tea and cake, shopping, and cooking. We even dyed some yarn. After she left, I was pretty tired, and aware that I had probably pushed myself a bit too much. Until about 11pm, I barely left the couch, and was feeling worse and worse. Just after 11, I dragged myself into bed, and then had to race to the bathroom to throw up. Usually, after I throw up, I start to feel better immediately, so I washed my face and crawled back to bed.

Within 10 minutes, I was hurling again, and every 10 minutes after that for the next two and a half hours. At 1.30pm, I had had enough, and was ready to kill myself to stop the vomiting. Mark drove me to hospital.

I was so dehydrated that they had trouble finding a vein, David the 12 year old doctor had to dig about in the back of my hand for a few minutes before giving up and trying my right hand. Eventually he found a vein and took some blood (I am so very brave – I didn’t pass out), and then a nurse cam in with a miracle cure that had me feeling better within seconds of the shot.

An hour or so on a drip, and they offered me a choice of admission, or going back home. I chose home, and we were tucked up in bed just after 3am.

Apparently what I have is called hyperemesis. And it might go away today, or last for several months. The horror…

More Abortion Stuff

I haven’t read Freakonomics, but I have heard quite a bit about it, and am intrigued by the book. So I was interested to see Kris link to the Frekonomics blog today. One post struck me as interesting, but missing something.

This post talks about the rapid decline in Down’s Syndrome births since routine testing became available, but questions the almost universal decision to abort when faced with a positive test result. Many sides of the issue are discussed, but what is not mentioned is the long term care that many such infants will need. For me, the overwhelming deciding factor is not wanting to die and leave a dependant child who has never known a life away from home. I’m not going to live forever, so having a dependant at age 37 that will still need care in their 50’s is not rational.

Luckily, my test results have been analysed in conjunction with my blood test, and the adjusted result is a 1:934 chance of Down’s, and greater than 1:5000 chance of the other syndromes tested for.

And in unrelated news, mum bought me a maternity bra today. An E cup. E for FREAKING ENORMOUS!

I think the decision has been made

Thanks everyone! I think my mind is made up, I just need to decide when. I’ll take another week off and discuss things with the parents (who get back on Monday, yay!), and maybe go back for a few weeks to work out my notice. I’ve had an offer of part time work, which would be a great, low stress way to earn a few extra dollars.

You are right – quality of life HAS to be central to the decision. I am feeling wobbly enough without adding work stress into the mix.

Off to the GP now (for another certificate), then I’m going out to lunch by myself. I think the spewing is over for today. Touch wood.

Thanks

I’ve been overwhelmed by how much support I’ve had from people when they hear the news.  It’s almost like the tribe is welcoming a new member.

The lovely Bex made the most gorgeous bootees I have ever seen.  Unfortunately I couldn’t get a better picture than this – but I promise that when I get my lightbox set up, these will be the first things that I photograph properly.  You really need to see the disco glitter buttons.  Perfect!

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And thanks to Twinkie, Donna and Em, my favourite bunnyhuggers (and bunny).  The first book of the knitting murder mystery series (I had already read book two).  I am so touched by this gift – Donna, you are an absolute jewel, I am loving reading something that isn’t about pregnancy!  And this came as a birthday gift – perfect timing to make me think about my needs instead of the baby.

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And this is from the ever gorgeous Kate.  A bath melt from Lush called Ceridwen’s Cauldron, and three balls of gorgeous fuzzy orange yarn.  I don’t know why she thought I would like it 😉  As well as the orangeness and the fuzziness, it also has a core of soft alpaca.  My favourite!  Now I just need to work out what to knit with it.  Maybe a teddy? 

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So it’s been a great week for feeling loved.  And the love didn’t stop.  I got my Bendigo order earlier in the week, and today I came home to both the new interweave Knits (well before I expected it).

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And a postcard from the sorely missed parents.

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Who’s a lucky girl?

Ampersand probably isn’t manky

So. Nuchal Translucency Scan day today. Appointment was at 9.30am, got the results at 3pm. 1:908 chance of Trisomy 21 (Down’s Syndrome), and 1:2795 chance of Trisomy 13 and 18 (someone else’s syndromes). I also had another blood test (only 2 litres this time), and the results of that test may or may not change those numbers. If the numbers don’t indicate an increased risk, then I don’t think we’ll have any further tests.

Got some more pictures of &, but won’t scan them for the blog because ultrasound pictures are boring.

Instead, I bring you my St Vinnies purchases for today.

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First, a hand knit and handspun child’s jumper with koalas. $3. I hope the talented knitter who made this knows that the jumper is loved again.

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Secondly, since I decided that now would be an appropriate time to start bonding with the invader (because, after all, mothers day is coming up), so I bought Volume 1 and 2 of “Mother Love” – stories about births, babies, and beyond. A welcome change to the pregnancy books. $1 each.

I also bought a 1970’s book of animals with loads of colour pictures. Because if this kid has any future mapped out already, it’s a future as an animal lover. $3. $8 all up.

And speaking of animals, her is a picture of our newest family member, in her new house.

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I also popped in to Cherryhills today for the S’nB, and met Grandma Flea. She is even lovelier than I expected (and I had pretty high expectations), and she makes a fabulous lemon cake. Yum! Purchases were made (no yarn, baby pattern books), pictures to come later.

Diary of a pregnant woman

(notice how the pregnant goes before the woman? A little sinister if you ask me)

5am Awake. AWAKE!!!!! Pee. Grab laptop and obsessively read all new items in my news aggregator. Can you bloggers post a little more? Or recommend some really prolific and entertaining blogs? I am reduced to reading the new mac software announcements. It’s a little sad. Drink a large amount of juice mixed with soda water.

7am Mark gets up and makes me coffee just as I crash.

8am Wake to cold coffee and a cold baked potato. Kind husband takes pity and microwaves coffee while I pee again. I should note that coffee now consists of a bucket of calcium enriched vanilla soy milk with a healthy dose of Nestle Chocolate Quik Plus (fortified with iron and calcium & stuff). No actual coffee to speak of – aren’t I good?

8.30am Call Pennant Hills Diagnostic Centre to schedule my 12 week scan. Am booked in for 9.30am tomorrow.

10am Still in bed, perking up, contemplating the mountain of work that needs to be done before our rental inspection this afternoon. Receive phone call from dear friend with 1 year old child who volunteers to come over for moral support.

10.40am In a burst of enthusiasm, leap out of bed, start tidying and cleaning, put dishwasher on, put out recycling.

10.45am Back in bed. Feeling vile again.

And so on….

Until 8.30 tonight, when I put “The Joy Luck Club” in the DVD player, and wept uncontrollably for 2 hours.

Bastardry

This post is about birth defects, and abortion. Strong opinions and upsetting subjects are aired within. Please don’t read on if you are easily upset.

Sally told me about this the other day, but I couldn’t find any info on the intertron about it.

A minor in Ireland has been prevented from leaving the country in order to obtain an abortion. That’s a pretty awful story, but that sort of thing is probably quite common in countries that do not allow elective terminations. The complicating factor in this case is that the foetus has a condition that means it cannot live for more than a few days after birth.

Sheer bastardry.

Nobody wants to have an abortion. Nobody seeks out the experience. Nobody has the procedure and then gets on with their life without consequences, depression, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness, fear for future fertility – there are many and varied repercussions, most of them long term, and very unpleasant. It is a painful, and impossibly difficult choice for most women, and none of us has the right to judge from outside.

But surely, even the most rabid right to lifer has to admit that giving birth to a child without a brain, that cannot survive a week after birth, is far worse?

As I prepare for my 12 week scan, the scan that will give me a probability that Ampersand has a serious genetic problem, these sorts of issues have been in my mind a lot. Even though I have a very fixed idea of what I will do if the baby has a serious problem, it is not a decision I could take lightly, and I could never tell another woman how she should react in similar circumstances.

A decision like this is for each of us to make on our own, with our own individual circumstances. None of us could say how we would feel, or what we would do in these devastating circumstances, but my heart goes out to this young girl who has had this difficult choice taken away from her.

Eek!

Just been to the Doc. I felt too vile to get out of bed at 7am this morning, so I emailed work to let them know that I would be in later, when the world stopped spinning.

At 10am, after I had a nap and some breakfast, I decided that work was not on the cards for me today. I rang my GP, and made an appointment for midday. My blood test results from last week were in, all normal, but I still need to keep up my Vitamin D – more sun exposure I suppose. I am not anaemic, and I don’t have syphilis. I am sure Mark will be glad to know that. My blood pressure is fine (for “my condition”), so unless I am hypoglycaemic, he is at a loss to explain why I am having dizzy spells.

What is a worry, is that I seem to have lost 3 kilos in about a week – despite the fact that I am eating as much, and as well, as I can.

I’ve been given a week off work, so I have stocked up on carbs, and got home in time for Oprah.

I have promised to do some product shots for work today, so I will also photograph the gorgeous booties that Bex made Ampersand on the weekend. Prepare for extreme cuteness.

Comments Redux

I have found the Subscribe to Comments link at the bottom of the page, and made it a little more prominent on the right sidebar. Hopefully that will make things a little easier.

Thanks everybody for your comments, I have decided to take your advice, and respond in comment unless the content is too scary for public consumption!

In spawn news, we have just met Anna, our doula for the first time, and found her to be lovely. Yay!

Life in Denistone

Friday night was a long one. Aunty Emily had a heart attack, and has been taken to Liverpool Hospital. She “came over all weak and floppy”, she has had a blockage removed already but may need more surgery. We went over to Hurlstone Park to collect Cocky, who spent Friday night in our shower. She wasn’t impressed with being put in a cat carrier for the trip, and bit Mark thoroughly through his welders gloves. I am afraid she may have hurt a wing, but since I don’t know what is normal for this bird, I am loathe to put her through the stress of another car ride (the only avian vet that is open on a Sunday is miles away) while she is just settling in.

We have made her a much bigger house (though still tiny for such a large parrot), which she will hopefully learn to like more than the tiny cage she has been in for the last god knows how many years.

Saturday morning we made a quick trip out to Dural for the 80th birthday of an old family friend. Mary and her family lived next door to us when we were growing up, and Mary was like a third grandmother to Adam and I. I haven’t seen her in years, so it was lovely to be able to see her on such a momentous occasion, and to introduce her to Mark – and to tell her our news. It was also great to catch up with Donna, her daughter, who I have always adored.

We then went to Bunnings to buy Cockatoo house fixings. Note to self: Just because one’s husband has an honours degree in pure maths does not mean he is capable of simple calculation. I believe we’ll be popping in to Bunnings again today.

Then off to Rubi + Lana’s for the late shift. THe shop closes at 2pm, I got there about 2.30pm, so no shopping for me (which could be a good thing). Too ill to do much knitting, but the (insert superlative here) Kate gave me three balls of gorgeous fluffy orange stuff with an alpaca base, and a bath bomb which will get used very soon. Thanks Kate!

Still feeling vile, I dragged myself home, and into bed. Got up a couple of times to supervise cockatoo house building, but head-spins and dizziness drove me back to my bed.

It’s now sunday morning, and I promise some pictures of the new arrival as soon as Mark gets up. I can’t contemplate getting out of bed without a full breakfast, and a significant lie in.

PS. Cocky needs a name. I can’t go to the vet with a magnificent bird with a name like “Cocky”. The ignominy.
PPS. I hate myself a little for saying this, but 45 days in prison for Paris Hilton brings me joy. Hopefully that means 45 days of no “Paris News”. I can hardly wait.