Author: laranettle

Lol Cats Meets Quantum Physics

The baby is now hovering just over 6kg. No gain this week, maybe a slight loss.

The wonder Doc isn’t worried, she puts it down to being sick for the last week. She wants us to keep up the same routine (feed 6 times a day, express after as many feeds as I can, and give a bottle after every feed). We’ll weigh him again next week, and see the doc again in a fortnight. We had the ultrasound today, and we won’t hear back about that unless there is something that needs further investigation.

Apparently it’s to be expected that he will have this cold for a while, and that his appetite will be a bit low while he is sick. It might also make him lose weight – but his progress so far is very encouraging, he doesn’t have a long way to go to get back within the “normal” percentile bands. But Dr McVeagh wants his weight to be in line with his length, which is around the 50th percentile. So I hope his appetite improves quickly!

And me? Barely hanging in there. I think that I am going to have to let some things slide. My head hurts, I’m still exhausted, and the house is a shambles. And I’m not really ok with that, but I’ll have to be.

Huge thanks to Dad and Bev for all the help this week 🙂

Sick Baby

Img 1389

The picture above pretty much sums up how I feel. I am sick, the boy is sick, Mark has been killing himself looking after both of us, and it’s not going to get much easier for at least a week or two.

I am having to offer Inigo a “comp” after every feed. Breast milk if I can express enough, formula if I can’t. So after every feed, I have to express. Which is fine, except that I have to express while Inigo is in his happy and playful phase, so it’s impossible for me to do unless there is a helper here to care for Inigo while I express.

So if you live in Sydney and have a few spare hours during the day (weekdays only), and don’t mind being coughed and spewed on by a very small child, I could use a hand. This week is pretty much covered, but if we are still on this routine after Thursdays paed visit, any help will be appreciated.

Thursday is also the day of the renal ultrasound, and the MCU is on the 16th of June.

Thanks to Emily for making me feel very special with a home made cake.

Img 1319 2

It was superb. Inigo decided that he is ready for solids!

Img 1321 2

And thanks to Mum and Dad, and Andrew and Simone for a lovely low key birthday dinner. Simone and Andrew bought a cake from the Lindt shop, which was extremely good. If this keeps up I won’t have to eat real food for a few more days 🙂

6.120kg

Our discharge weight. That’s about 1kg in two weeks.

I’m totally wrecked, slept for about 15 hours yesterday (my birthday), and had a lovely dinner out with friends and family. Off to Rubi + Lana’s this morning, and will post a proper update as soon as I can.

Inigo doing well.

Lara hasn’t had her laptop in Tresillian this week, hence the lack of post. This is just a note to let you know that he’s been doing well. He was 5.75 kg on Monday (gain of 280g in 3 days over the weekend). You can’t see ribs anymore, and even his skin colour looks much better. Lara should post more soon.

We’re going back

The last 48 hours has been pretty awful.

Inigo gained 180gms from Tuesday to Friday – on top of whatever he gained from his last clinic visit on the 1st of May. Since we’re working with different scales, we won’t know that until we get back to Granville on a Thursday, but I think it’s about 150gms.

Despite his gain (5.470kg on Friday), the doc wants us back in lockup for another week. Of course I will comply, but it’s at great personal cost. I am not a person that takes direction well at the best of times, and when I feel like I am being patronised it’s really difficult for me to play nice.

Of course, I’m being told that we have to get the boy’s weight up as quickly as possible, and if we weren’t able to stay at Tresillian, then we’d probably be in hospital.

I’ve been told to express three times a day to get extra feeds. And if I can’t get enough, to give formula. Last Saturday night, we used up my stock of extra feeds when he stayed with Mum and Dad for the night. And since I’ve been at Tresillian, I have only been expressing enough to give his antibiotics, so my supply has dropped.

And stress affects supply.

And now I’m sick.

I had a bit of a cough on Friday, today I woke up feeling like death, it hurt to swallow. And my supply failed this afternoon.

Apparently illness doesn’t usually decrease supply, so it could just be that he is asking for more, and I need a day or so to catch up. Unfortunately, we don’t have any time to waste, so tonight he had some formula for the first time.

On Thursday he’ll be 24 weeks, or six months old. It was always my goal to breast feed until he was six months old, and beyond that if I could. The rational me is ok about it, and glad that I can feed him any way I can, but of course the emotional me is devastated.

Every bit of formula he gets means he isn’t sucking, and therefore not building supply. So while some might say it’s only a bit of formula, I am aware that the more formula he gets, the less my body will produce, and it may be very hard to continue breastfeeding without a lot of hard work.

So maybe if I had to face this when I was feeling emotionally sound, and physically well, then I’d be able to be a little more analytical, and a little less emotional. But after this week, and after the struggles we had to get it working in the first place, I’m not ready to give up easily.

So there could be another problem (or two)

Apparently, human breastmilk is digested readily, in around 90 minutes. Which is funny, because Inigo can vomit undigested milk up 4 hours after a feed. I’ve told the doctors about this, and of course I get ignored.

But yesterday, Inigo spewed just before a feed, and the vomit was pink – the same colour as his antibiotics, which he had before the previous feed. One of the nurses witnessed this, and now all of a sudden they seem to think that he might have an absorption problem. No shit…

So today I’ve been dealing with the possibility of that, and again today he seemed to be allergic to sleep. And then there’s the spewing.

When he is feeling OK, he seems to be a good sleeper, but the last few days he’s looked like he is in pain, and not been able to sleep through the day. If I lay him down in the cot on these days, he screams until I pick him up, then he takes a little while to settle, then he burps or spews. Once he is calm, I put him down, and the cycle starts again.

This morning Mark and I spent nearly two hours with the social worker, giving a detailed (and very personal) life history of the new Nettle family. Apparently the doctor wants to see a complete picture of us to examine any underlying issues that might be contributing to Inigo’s weight.

Of course I’m thrilled to have a doctor that is so thorough, and I am confident that if anyone can get to the bottom of this, she can – but at the same time I am living under a microscope. Nurses watch every feed, shining a torch at my nipple to examine the shape, colour and texture after a feed. They watch him attach, get right up close and breathe down my neck to examine his sucking reflex. If I had any dignity left after childbirth, it’s all been used up this week. They’ve even weighed his nappy to see how much he peed!

I keep telling myself that it’s worth it, that this scrutiny serves a purpose, and that my privacy is inconsequential in comparison to the health of my child. But it still sucks to be me right now. Which I mention because I am trying to give an accurate record of my days, not because I want sympathy, or pity. I am sure there are a lot of people who can empathise though, especially in that special form of torture that is having a sick child.

So tomorrow we’ll do another urine test, we’ll see the doctor, and we’ll find out if she’s worried about the absorption thing, and if she’s worried about how much he spews, and why he can’t seem to sleep when he is having a spewy day. Does he spew a lot? Is the spewing normal?

Lots more questions, and still no answers. Yet.

Another two days to get through. At least Mark will be here with us.

A prison visit

Dsc00051

Christine brought Ella to visit today, and she and Inigo held hands after a long and involved conversation.

We saw Dr McVeagh this afternoon, she seems to think it IS a bladder infection, and that now that he is on antibiotics, he should start to gain some weight. On Thursday we’ll get another urine sample for testing, and on Friday we should have the results. We’ll also weigh him again on Friday to see if he has gained any weight. Today the electronic scales said 5.290kg, which is encouraging.

So if it is a bladder infection, there is a 75% chance that there isn’t a “cause” that we can identify. Which means there is a 25% chance that he has something wrong with his waterworks. We have to have an ultrasound, and another test involving a tiny catheter and some dye.

A few more days to get through before I can have my breakdown.

Happy Baby

Img 1258

After his long sleep yesterday, he went to my parents place for the night. We went to Clare’s birthday party (where a wonderful time was had by all), and apparently was a different child to the one they looked after last time.

From when he was picked up at 5.30pm till when he was dropped off at midday today, he hardly cried, but spent a lot of time smiling and giggling. He’s been extremely good today, and if this behaviour continues for another day or so, I’d be prepared to say that perhaps the antibiotics are working a minor miracle.

Img 1284
Inigo discovers two wonderful things. Feet, and testicles.