a crappy mood

66% for my research report. I’ll live through it, but it will make it very hard to get an HD for PSYC102. Do I need an HD? I rang Macquarie to talk about transferring (to avoid residential schools in Armidale next year), and I have to apply through UAC, which means a pile of paperwork, and a very impersonal and bureaucratic process. Which may get me absolutely nowhere.

Squish is going to preschool next year, and trying to work out which one has been difficult. Apparently all the good parents work this shit out years in advance, but I am a bit remedial in leaving it until October of the year before to start looking.

So if I switch to Macquarie, I’ll want him in a preschool that is closer to there, and if I stay at UNE it won’t matter. So I am tying myself in knots trying to make the best decision for my favourite kid, and 66% just makes me feel defeated.

Yes, yes, I know that 66% isn’t a great big stamp across my forehead that says “FAILURE”, but everything else is (relatively) easy for me, so this is forcing me to come to terms with the fact that I am going to have to really work hard to become competent at academic writing. It’s not something that comes easily to most people, so I shouldn’t feel like crap that my assignment came back covered in negative comments.

Ted and I took Squish to a new music class today. There were twin girls there. Thank FSM they weren’t boys. And that they were a little older than A&A should be now. Seeing twins is always a sharp pain, a glimpse is a shopping centre usually sends me in the opposite direction, but today I couldn’t run.

Sometimes, I can live through it. Just breathe, and pretend that I am coping, that life is ok. But there are other days, like today, when it’s just too hard.

4 thoughts on “a crappy mood”

  1. Lara, I can’t see an email contact on your blog. I do actually know that UAC is not as impersonal as you may think, but I won’t go into that here. Did you know about what i will call “hardship applications” as I don’t know their term for it. These can cover all sorts of things going back years. Not only illness but all sorts of personal stuff which could affect performance. You will need any and all documentation you can think of and written applications and references. You will need to find out more quickly if you decide to look at this approach as the people who do this work start around now.

    By this I mean it is in addition to applying to UAC for Macquarie.

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  2. Lara, I feel for you because I know how hard you worked on this. I understand a little becasue was disappointed when I got a Credit for one assignement with no explanation why. Only comment Good characterisation of text! I was also studying by distance and know how very difficult it is. You have so much to deal with: youre a momma of a gorgeous boy, a wife, a daughter and a friend. Im aware that this is a difficult time for you so my hat goes off to you. *hugs*

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