Crash

Just when I thought the crap was on a wee hiatus….

I had my first ever at fault car accident. Rear ended a lovely woman on her way to work. Thank goodness Inigo is OK (we were on our way to Papa and Grandma’s house when it happened), so both of us saw the GP and the physio yesterday. Inigo seems perfectly fine, I have some whiplash, but because I got it treated early it is much better than I expected. So as well as wasting an entire day of study, Bev and Ted spent the whole day ferrying Inigo and I to appointments, and Ted took our car to the repairers. Bernard is going to cost $1,500 to put right enough that he will be driveable again, but we won’t be fixing to cosmetic damage. Goodness knows how much the other car is going to cost to fix, but I just feel awful for the other woman who was just minding her own business until I crashed into her and turned her life upside down.

A friend recently told me that I am too high needs and that I create drama in my life. She subsequently decided that the cost benefit analysis on our friendship was not in my favour, and terminated the friendship. So I spent a lot of time yesterday really down on myself, and thinking that she was right, that just when things were going well, I sabotaged myself.

But really, it’s only sabotage if I allow it to drag me down, right? If I maintain my positive mental attitude and soldier on, I am still in charge of my own destiny – even if only control how I react to shit, though I can’t control the shit itself.

That is why they call them accidents.

9 thoughts on “Crash”

  1. Oh, Lara, I’m so sorry. I’m glad to hear that you and Inigo are both okay.

    You’re right; we can’t control the circumstances, we can only control our response. As the saying goes, s**t happens.

    *more hugs*

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  2. What a bugger!

    But imagine getting to your great age *ducks* and this being your first at fault accident! I managed to rear-end the car of a patient at one of my old jobs… I know I am older than you though, no need to point it out! 😉

    And what a way to manage friendships! Thank heavens I’ve not had that sort of cost-benefit analysis on me at various times when I’ve been struggling and friends have totally carried me! I hope I’ve been able to do the same for people when they’ve needed it, or at least been able to help a bit. ONe of the joys of friendships, really.

    Main thing is – all three of you are ok, cars are a pain but replaceable. And you’re naturally POSITIVE in my experience!

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  3. you are right, these things are called accidents. Jinxes aren’t real, and it wasn’t sabotage. Be gentle with yourself, gorgeous one, xxx

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  4. You know, I know people who I would classify as drama creators, who seem to thrive on it, there are people like that out there.

    However, throughout the time I have been reading your blog I have always thought of you as a strong, incredibly giving and thoughtful person. I have noticed that throughout times of considerable, almost unfathomable stress and grief you have an amazing capacity to find the joy in small things, to hold on to the good that exists in your life. I know that I only know you through this blog but I don’t think that changes anything.

    I would be willing to bet that your friend’s assessment of you is likely coming from something inside of them, not something about you at all. You have a tremendous tendency to care for others and to care about the world around you. Please don’t doubt that you are an amazingly strong and resilient person who has been forced to cope with very real stresses beyond your control. I admire you and I think you should be proud to be you, Lara.

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  5. I’m so glad no-one was hurt. Look after yourself and Inigo.

    (P.S People do cost-benefit analysis on their friendships? Wow. And I thought I was a cold-fish scientist.)

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  6. As someone who once drove into a pedestrian, I say…give yourself a break 🙂

    I’m glad you’re both okay – and hope the bill from the other driver doesn’t hurt more than the whiplash.

    And the friend who ditched you? Never a friend to start with, clearly.

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  7. I do cost benefit analysis on our friendship alot, but I’m hoping you won’t take the habit yourself, since I’m getting such a good deal on this end 😉

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  8. I’m very glad everyone is alright.
    Some excellent comments have already been left. And they sum up my thoughts mo’betta than I could have posted.
    Hence, “Ditto” on the above.

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  9. I once sat at a red light, checked if any cars were coming, and drove straight through the intersection, then completely freaked out when I realized what I had done, Blaise was in the passenger seat.

    I can’t wait to see you in June x x x

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