My counsellor from Sids and Kids has been wonderful with helping me to talk to Inigo about death, and about life, and about what happens in between. Without her I would have been lost, knowing how to deal with this situation, how to guide Inigo through this terrible situation. When I asked if Inigo should attend the funeral, she suggested that while Inigo might not know the difference now, in later years he would want to know if he was at the funeral, and what role he played. That is why we have decided to bring him to the funeral, and to give him the job of handing out the stickers to the other kids for decorating the coffin. And I have asked friends to photograph and video the service so that he will be able to have his questions answered in the fullness of time.
She also suggested that including Archie and Aubrey in our family rituals was a good idea. So this week when Steph took me out, I bought three glass ornaments, small, medium and large, one for each of my boys, and had them personalised with their names. Then when I got home, the funeral director was waiting for me to sign some paperwork, so I dropped my shopping bags on the verge, and signed.
Cue large 4WD, running directly over my shopping bags. The gin was ok, the tonic was ok, but the bag with the ornaments was in the middle. Inigo’s ornament was fine, Aubrey’s ornament was fine, but the box that held Archies was crushed. I opened it to assess the damage, and it was completely undamaged.
I think I am due for some good luck.