Where I’m at

I’ve been home for nearly a week, still on the nasty antibiotics, still putting one foot in front of the other. Slowly – and usually lurching from one perch to another. Standing up doesn’t last for long, and walking barely gets me 100m before I conk out. I am trying to do more and more each day, but it really is baby steps.

Mark is being amazing. I am so glad I married that man. I can’t imagine going through this horror with a lesser man by my side. None of this is easy, but having a partner that loves, respects, and supports me in such a tangible way makes the burden a little easier.

Every little thing I can’t do, someone else is picking up the slack. Between Mark, and his parents, and my parents, everything is being done. And yesterday, with a lot of help from family and very dear friends, Inigo had a brilliant birthday party. And I did nothing, except sit on my couch and try not to cry while we sang happy birthday.

But Inigo had a wonderful day, as will be shown when I have some pics (thanks Fi and others who took pics!). He was perfectly behaved, had gorgeous manners, and was thrilled with every bit of watermelon, every gift, every crumb of cake, every cuddle, and especially his Yoda card that played the Star Wars theme 🙂

So life is ticking along, this week I have to write some words to say at the service, choose some flowers, and sort out a few details, and I will get there. One foot in front of the other.

Any day I can get out of bed and spend at least one hour of the day without crying is a good day.

Oh, and I thought I’d better mention – on Friday, please feel free to bring kids to the funeral. We’ve spoken to a grief counsellor from Sids & Kids who recommends that it is best for Inigo that he attend the funeral. We will be giving the children stickers so that they can decorate the coffin, so that the kids can feel part of the service. Also, it’s perfectly appropriate to wear bright colours if you would like to. And if you feel more comfortable in traditional black, that is ok too.

3 thoughts on “Where I’m at”

  1. oh Lara, I’ve not kept up the past week, and now reading the past few days I’m in tears again.
    I can’t imagine how you all must be feeling, but you are truely amazing woman. your strength and courage are inspiring, and I’m so glad you have Mark and Inigo with you too.
    My thoughts will be with you this afternoon as you farewell your precious boys publically.
    many hugs and much love to you, Mark, Inigo, Aubrey and Archie.
    Ange T


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