One of the worst days ever

They couldn’t get the catheter in. A nurse tried twice, and then they asked me if the should try again. I said yes, wanting to avoid bringing him back. He was so desperate, panicked and in pain, wondering why his mama was holding him down so they could torture him.

I said yes, and the doctor had a go, and she failed too. And when the catheter came out, it had blood on it.

All afternoon he was spontaneously screaming, while tears rolled silently down my cheeks, and I fought to maintain composure and a soothing calm manner. I sang his favourite songs until my throat was raw.

Eventually, he fell asleep, and aside from a temperature early this morning, is acting as if nothing happened.

And I’m a wreck. I don’t know if my immune system was weakened by the extreme stress of yesterday, or whether I was due for it anyway, but my throat is on fire, and my head is full of snot.

I think I’ll take a day off life.

Oh, and we have to go back on Thursday.

8 thoughts on “One of the worst days ever”

  1. Oh F&ck!!! F&ckity f&ck f&ck f&ck!!

    I’m SOOOO sorry for ALL of you. Watching your baby suffering while you have to stand by and encourage the continuation of the suffering is just unbearable.

    Toto was hospitalised for rotorvirus when he was about 18 months old. We had the same issue with the IV line. They just couldn’t get it in. I had to soothe him with tears rolling down my cheeks.

    And then, earlier this year, I had the same thing with Boo when he had the stitches in his lip with no effective pain relief.


    (((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))

    I guess this is the worst of the parenting malarky.



  2. Oh, so sorry it was like that Lara.

    Well done for being that grown up parent who made the situation as easy as poss for HIM and helped him stay as calm as could be in the situation.

    Horrible, big hugs, thinking of you +++


  3. I agree with Emily – he can trust you to make the right decisions – even when those decisions will hurt him, Blaise had to have 5 people hold her down everytime they took blood, it was shit, now she is 18 and getting her blood tests alone happily.

    love and hugs to you guys x x x


  4. I’m sorry. There is just nothing that compares to holding your child while someone does something painful and distressing to them, especially when they’re too young to understand why. I’m really sorry you have to go back, and will be hopinghoping it goes to plan second time around.


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