Category: The Life of Lara

On being amazing

Over the past few days I’ve been leading groups of new first year students around the campus to give them a gentle and friendly introduction to campus life.  Most of my “mentees” were mature age students, and I shared some of my history with them as a way of explaining that life has challenges, but there are mechanisms in place within the university to support people who have added challenges, and that different people have different challenges – your worries are every bit as valid as mine.  We all need a bit of help sometimes.

I made a point of stopping the tour outside campus wellbeing and explaining in detail about the services they offer.  Mostly because I don’t know if I would still be at uni without that support, and because I know that the attrition rate for first year students is really high, and I want “my” team to know that help is available when life gets sticky.

And the response I got was the usual “you’re amazing”.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, apart from a general uneasiness.  Later I reflected that going to uni is a very selfish act, and that the people that support me to do this are the amazing ones.  My husband is amazing.  His forbearance and tolerance border on saintly at times.  I’m not amazing.  I am a sorry and broken person who has no choice but to gather the pieces in a bucket and carry on.

Without Squish, without Mark, I wouldn’t have even been able to find a bucket.  Without my parents, my in-laws, my friends and family, I’d be living on the streets and eating out of bins.  Or I’d be dead.

So I loved this piece I read today. We are amazing because we are human.  Extending empathy and compassion is part of what makes us human, and without that we lose our humanity.

Worries

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Week three of school.  He’s stopped talking about how much he loves school, what he’s looking forward to, who his friends are…

Last week there was a kid in his class following him around and getting in his face saying “I don’t like you”.  Then she hit him in the face and knocked his hat off his head.

I had a meeting with Mrs D, and yesterday he told me that the kid had been nice to him.  Crisis averted.

Except despite having loads of kids in his class that like him, he is apparently wandering around the school on his own most recess and lunch times.

And he hates school work.

Every other kid in the class finishes their work on time, but Inigo stares off in to space and dawdles.  We’ve worked out that he thinks it is boring and just can’t be bothered, but the problem is he can’t be given more interesting work unless he can prove that he can do the easy stuff.

Yesterday he had his first home reader.  He asked for more books for today, a bit more of a challenge.  But there is a system,  Later on, when the teacher has time to spend with each kid and assess their reading level he will be given books that will challenge him a bit more. I get that every kid in the class is just as important as my Squishy, that they all need to have their needs met too.  And I so don’t want to be that awful whinging parent that thinks everything their child does is perfect and beyond reproach.  I am not that parent, though I am sure I look like it to Mrs D right now 😉

So I just have to be patient.  And encouraging, and support what the teacher needs. And try not to freak out that he will end up hating school.  Because that is my baggage, and projecting it on him isn’t helpful.

 

Library bag

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Squish and I did some sewing on the weekend, a bear, with blanked and pillow, and a library bag for school. Inigo had his first go of the sewing machine, and has declared that he wants his own for his birthday next year.

And today I found out his library bag is supposed to be waterproof. Can I get away with sticking a shopping bag inside it?

First day

We packed a yummy lunch,

Which was hardly eaten because he was too hyper to concentrate on eating, but it got demolished when we got home.

A portrait after school with the school noticeboard. He had a great day, and decided to go back again tomorrow.

And we instituted a new family tradition. If one of us has something to celebrate, like a major milestone of starting big school, they get to eat dinner off the blue plate. At his request, pasta and red sauce, his favourite meal. At my insistence, we also had salad, and zucchini, mushroom and eggplant in the sauce, fried in butter. It was yummy, and it was demolished. Though he didn’t quite have enough room to finish dessert – fruit salad with mango, nectarine and orange.

This morning, we did it all again. We were so organised, we made it to school 30 minutes early!

Can you spot his Squishyness? Amongst all the kindy kids standing tall and paying attention, there he is, crouching down and being a ratbag.

That’s my kid.