laranettle

My life is like a cheap soap opera

After spending a few hours at the hospital, talking to midwives and doctors about how to proceed, which drugs I could and could not be given because of my previous c/s, and how long we could wait before I went into labour naturally, I was given a blood test (to check for infection), and sent over to ultrasound to make sure there was no heartbeat.

Well, there was a heartbeat. Two, in fact. Both babies are alive and well, with healthy little heartbeats, and measuring big for gestational age. No amniotic fluid, but alive.

We have decided to proceed with the pregnancy, I will remain on bedrest, and switch my care to the high risk clinic at Westmead. If these babies are born alive, it is very likely they will come early, and they will need a neo-natal intensive care ward, so Westmead is the most obvious choice, despite the bus shelter atmosphere of the waiting room.

And if we make it to 20-ish weeks, I’ll be booked in as an in patient to continue my bed rest in less comfortable surroundings, but closer to a NICU.

So sorry for the drama, but you can imagine that Mark and I have been all over the place emotionally today.

No heartbeats

Were on our way to Westmead hospital to find out what happens next. Hopefully I will go into labour soon, and then open the gin.

If you think…

Thanks to Kate V for the link.

And now for something completely different

Mark took this video a few months ago, but rest assured, he is still cute.

Practical Stuff

Here is a link to some stories of women who have had premature rupture of membranes. Some of the stories end happily, some not.

I can’t thank everyone enough for the endless messages of support, love, and offers of help. It means so much to me that other people care, and I wish I was able to adequately thank everyone.

As far as practical help goes, at the moment we are fine, mum and dad have had Squishy for three days, he came home last night and has spent today with Bev & Ted. Tomorrow and Thursday mum and dad will take him, and Friday is his regular daycare day. Simone popped over on Sunday and cooked a pot of soup which has kept us both very well fed for the past few days, and I am catching up on some dvd watching, some novel reading, and tomorrow I might even try to tackle some knitting (though how that is going to work lying down I am not sure).

Timing is a funny thing though, next week, mum and dad are leaving for a long planned trip to Thailand for a Tai Chi retreat, so from next week most of the Squishy care will fall to Bev and Ted. So next week I’ll be calling in favours, both to take some of the pressure of them, and to help Squishy feel special while chaos reigns. He has been amazing, but it’s obvious that he knows something is going on, and it’s been really hard for him too.

Bedrest

According to my OB, there is no reason to hope that the amniotic sac/s will repair. And without a repair, the babies won’t have any room to grow. Normally, the amniotic fluid provides a comfy cushioned room for the babies to grow, without that cushioning, there is nowhere for them to grow, so the soft little bones just can’t grow properly. The other function of the fluid is to help little lungs to develop. Without the fluid, the lungs will develop into a solid mass of tissue, without the holes needed to make the lungs function. So while the placentas are still doing a wonderful job, without a repair there is no hope.

I was 15 weeks on Saturday. Perhaps, if they had a few more weeks, there might have been more hope. As it is, I have chosen to hope. My midwife says not to give up until there is nothing to hope for, so while putting myself on bedrest isn’t likely to achieve much, it’s the only thing I can do, so that is what I am doing.

If the babies die, apparently it could take weeks and weeks. And then I will labour and give birth to them.

Obviously, we are devastated, but as yet, we don’t have anything to mourn.

Sad

Both babies have lost almost all amniotic fluid. Chance of survival is less than 1%. More waiting. Not much hope.

More scariness

The ob thinks the amniotic sac around one of the babies has ruptured, and I will probably miscarry both babies soon. As of a few hours ago, there were still two heartbeats, but we havent been given much reason to hope.

Apparently, there is an upside

A friend sent me to this blog post, a mum who is just thrilled and amazed to be a mum of twins.

I’m getting there.

The universe provides

Dear universe,

The twin news wasn’t welcome. It was scary, and, frankly, you could have chosen someone more, well, motherly. I know lots of people that like children, and want more of them, and would be really, really awesome parents. But no, you picked me. So I’ll have to deal with it, and I will even try to be gracious about it.

Especially in light of todays news.

Mark has just accepted an new job, with a $13k pay rise. And an iPad.

Thank you.