Pros
- I can stop stressing about my impossible work situation
- we can probably manage on one wage
- I have supported Mark through uni, so it’s not unfair
- I could do study, start a business, take more pictures
- I can spend time taking care of myself and my family
- I can play in the garden, grow food for us, and get fitter
- I can relax and enjoy my pregnancy, can concentrate on positive things
- I can stop stressing about my impossible work situation
Cons
- poverty, which will mean –
- – a yarn diet
- – it will be hard to buy all the stuff we need for Ampersand
- – it will have to drink water at the pub on sundays
- – we can’t have cable tv
- – no new laptop every few years
- – OMG, what if Apple bring out a new iPod????
- – no more take away
- – very rare restaurant meals
- – can’t buy Crocs in every colour
- a vague feeling of letting someone down. Mark will support me whatever I decide, and I expect that most people in my life would too. But there is also worry that this choice might not be acceptable. We know that the superwoman myth is just a myth, but there is still enormous pressure on women to be perfect mothers, keep perfect homes, and also be great providers too. And I just don’t think I can do that. I think being a mother is going to be a huge job. Pregnancy has been a fairly large job so far…
Disco Knitter 
come to the next guild and i will donate some of my stash , and water is good for you and your crocs will last longer than you think and cable tv is boring and gifts for ampersand will be more than he/she can ever wear and you rold ipod is fine and and and once you see ampersand nothing else will matter anyway.
don’t stress just knit and be calm
diane
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All you need in life is happiness, and money can’t buy that. Do what is best for you and your family. You can only spend what you earn, and I have found the more you earn the more you spend. I too will send you yarn!
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Couldn’t agree more with Diane. You do what you want and if you want to raid my stash at any time you’re very welcome. It’s what’s best for you, Mark and Ampersand that matters.
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I have known you since we were short and I have never seen you yet let anyone down – and who said being a woman pregnant isn’t work my lovely. This is such a wonderful thing that you and Mark are experiencing – I want for you so much to enjoy it. So if you need to give up full time employment for a capitalist running dog, then so be it. You are an amazing photographer, and I have enjoyed the results of your gardening (very tasty), and all the pros on your list are more convincing than the cons.
And as you can see from these posts, there will be no yarn diet – anytime you need multi-coloured yarn, well, you know where I live.
I have a pro to add to your list – you’ll have more time to have a manicure or pedicure any time I am at home (don’t forget, I only work part time!!!). I also just got a hot pink and a bright orange nail polish…
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I agree, I think it’s a question of when rather than if. Don’t stay stressed too long, but don’t let yourself get bored and anxious. And if at all remotely possible, don’t financially commit yourself to going back too soon afterwards, either. You ideas may change as to when is ideal (mine did!)
By the way, Ampersand won’t need much stuff … I suggest somewhere safe to sleep and some donated clothing is about all. Maybe a car seat or frontpack / sling carrier, too.
On that subject, I go into baby stores now and marvel at all the junk one doesn’t need. When I was pregnant, I worried perhaps the junk was important to buy. It isn’t.
Happy parents with time to spare & enjoy the baby are the most important.
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I think everyone goes through something like this because the financial worry is always there. And trust me, you don’t have to be pregnant to feel this way. Last year I had a good think about whether I can stay in a job which payed not too badly but where I was so majorly unhappy, it was starting to affect my knitting, or whether I should just bite the bullet and take a lower paid job where I might have some feeling of self-worth. But at the back of your mind you keep thinking about the money (well I did). And I realise that I probably already have most of the stuff I want and need. For example, my yarn stash is sizeable and any more yarn is extra. Another pair of shoes is just extra. But its hard to find that extra bit of happiness when there isn’t any to begin with… not sure if that makes sense, but umm… I guess I’m just trying to say.. yeah, I agree with everyone else!!
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also. no more missed deals at the grocery store. and – if one times the ‘brokeness’ right, one will become flush right about when the price of the new ipod comes *down*. and that’s win-win.
but it does suck that your work situation had to be impossible.
it’s cliché to say, i know, but timing really does seem to be everything, doesn’t it?
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