Whoosh

That was the sound of my homebirth plans flying out the window.

Apparently my midwife isn’t comfortable doing a home delivery of twins after a c/s. Fair enough, but I am surprised. I did a little bit of research on twin homebirth, and I assumed that it would still be a possibility. Of course, I could choose another midwife, but I chose Robyn because I trust her not to take unnecessary risks – so I have to trust her on this too.

She has suggested that I choose an obstetrician, and has given me a few names. She thinks that if I want a chance to labour naturally, and want delayed cord clamping and skin to skin directly after the birth, then I have a much better chance with a private Ob than a hospital Ob (that may stick to established hospital policy and habit rather than what I want).

It’s funny, but I don’t mind spending $4,400 on a midwife, but $5,000 seems way too much for an obstetrician when I can have the babies for free in a public hospital. Maybe it’s just that I don’t mind paying to avoid hospital, but paying for something that should be free goes against the grain. It’s the socialist in me.

So another round of research, and phone calls, and decisions.

Please, can the scary news stop for a few days?

13 thoughts on “Whoosh”

  1. Does it help to think of it as paying for your choice, rather than for the hospital?

    You were happy to pay to choose home over hospital; maybe you need to consider paying to choose a private obstetrician and their willingness to let you labour naturally for as long as you can and delay clamping the cord and a private/twin room and whatever else, over a random obstetrician who has no sympathy with your desires in a public hospital labour ward.

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  2. I understand your dilemma between paying for the midwife vs. the Obstetrician. I really didn’t want an Ob or need one but decided to go Westmead Private in case I went overdue and needed to be induced. Irony. I went overdue and needed to be induced. My Ob did let me go longer than the public hospital would have been happy for me to go but I still ended up with an induction. Sigh. Tough choices but you will make the right one for you and your babies.

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  4. Wow. I’m so sorry that your middie isn’t comfortable with a twin hbac. There is soooooo much for you to consider and I don’t envy you all this tricky decision making. It is very hard to have to consider a new care provider after you have “bonded” with one already. Were you planning on having a doula? What about more than one midwife? I have heard of some twin homebirths where they decided to have two middies for safety, decision making etc. I hope you are able to find a solution and a caregiver that feels 100% right for you.
    xxx

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  5. Sorry to hear the midwife was a no-go.
    You might have to do a bit of searching to find an OB private or otherwise who will VBAC twins.

    Even with my beautiful VB record, my low intervention pro-VB OB agreed to a VB as long as twin1 is heads down and I agree to an epidual incase twin 2 need a quick extraction or flips.
    We have been waiting to see if twin one would play ball and if he does we’ll have or do I really need an epidural discussion.

    Goodluck with the hunt.
    The AMBA group might be able to help.

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  6. What a week of difficult news, Lara!

    I hope you find a great obstetrician one way or another; presumably you’ll still have mainly midwife care through the public system and in the hospital? Can Robyn not do your delivery at hospital/a birth centre? Not sure how all this works, but wishing you as much (supported) control over the whole thing as you want and need.

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  7. I am a little behind on the news.. but congratiulations, or should I say double congratulations! Let me know if you want the name of my ob. 🙂

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  8. *hugs*. There ARE OBs out there who will respect your ethos on birth. Finding them is tricky 😛 I think your MW is right that going private is your best chance, though, because you never know who you’ll get on the day if you’re going public and not all OBs are created equal 🙂

    I do know the OB I had with Cheeky saw us at our 6 week check, asked about BFing, knew we were struggling… and then went and looked up resources for us, because he didn’t think he knew enough. He also offered to do a waterbirth and was happy with delayed clamping (although very keen on managed third stage).

    But when what you WANT is a MW and what you’re GETTING is an OBGYN… it’s hard 😦 It might be a good second best, but it’s still second (or third?) best…

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  10. I’ve always had the impression that private OBs were more likely to promote a medically managed birth, but that might just be because such a high proportion of people I know who went with private OBs had planned sections.

    I actually really liked that through my hospital antenatal care I barely saw a doctor. Throughout the early and middle stages when things were going nicely, it was all about the midwives. And even when things did start to go pear shaped each time, I didn’t see much of the doctors and I did find most of them really pretty reasonable.

    Second time around I did a lot better at advocating for myself, and making sure I was making proper, informed decisions. First time, I got swept along a bit and let people tell me what was going to happen instead of asking what I consented to, and I realised that a lot of my sadness over that birth (though not all of it) was about feeling like I didn’t represent myself very well.

    I know you’re a great advocate for yourself so I think you can find a way to work with whoever you end up with, to ensure that the birth you get is best for you and your babes. Even if you go with the hospital option, your right to extend or refuse consent remains and you’re strong and informed and you’ll be fine.

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  11. Like Celia, I’m a bit late to the party. Congrats, congrats! Looking forward to reading your thoroughly researched and informed decisions!

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  13. tricky!!

    regardless of whether it ends up being vbac or c/s you might be better with a private OB simply so you get to establish a relationship with yr caregiver.

    My mum had 7 vaginal births, she found her private OB for last few a zillion times better than public because he respected her wishes.

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