Processing

We spent today with a lovely friend who is mother to four beautiful children, the youngest two of which are twins. Ruby, you are a darling, and I can’t think of a better person to talk this through with.

The shock is wearing off, and the terror is easing. This is not something we planned, and while the chances are slightly increased with maternal age, it’s still “like being hit by lightning” (in the words of another wonderful friend).

Next week is all about getting information and making decisions. At this point, I don’t think there is any reason to change my birth choice, but obviously twin pregnancies come with increased risks, so we’re taking a wait and see approach.

And of course, waiting and seeing involves being “prepared” (whatever that means) for losing either one, or both of the babies. I don’t want to sound all doom and gloom, but my experience in the last few days have led me to places I never imagined, and now I have a whole lot more to lose.

So the pregnancy will be horrible (is already horrible, let’s face it), and the first three months will be incredibly difficult. And from then on it might slowly start to become more reasonable, until at some point, we’ll have three kids we love as much as we love Inigo. And that’s just a little bit more love than we thought we could cope with – but we’ll find a way.

3 thoughts on “Processing”

  1. you could try thinking of the extra bub as a surprise… and a surprise as something you don’t know you want until you get it

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  2. OK, it's taken me weeks to get caught up (ah, heck, I probably never will), and you could probably correctly assume it's because there are a million kids with a million needs hanging of us all the time… but apart from the crap and the noise and the chaos and the damage to furniture and the big car and the drained bank account, things are so very, very wonderful. You've met my kids. You know they are turkeys. But oh boy are they the most amazing people I have ever met. The daily blah is more than offset by the Laura Ashley. I promise. Catalina and Oliver will be two next week. I'm going to have TWO 2 year olds in the house. How terrifying! But … oh, there's too much (two much?) to explain. Let me sum up: you will survive. You will thrive. You will adore your rodents of unusual size. Buttercup and Wesley will adore Inigo, and he them; and they will play together and fight together and one day when you are very old, they will tell you that they had the BEST fun growing up, and they are so glad to have each other and to have you. And your grandchildren will ask you to read them stories. And you will say, "As you wish". And you WILL live happily ever after.

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