Tech Support Monkeys

Apologies if you’re a tech support monkey – rant coming.

I just rang tech support for the company that hosts The Australian Companion Rabbit Society web site. We lost the password for ftp access when Simone’s house caught fire earlier in the year, and I needed to add a stat counter to the site.

I am not the main contact for hosting, but Simone doesn’t have access to a computer on the weekends, so I thought I’d give them a call to see if they could email the password to Simone, and I could log in to her webmail and retrieve the password (because I am not the email contact, I didn’t think email support would work…).

So I rang Michael, who asked a few identifying questions, then told me our hosting package does not include free phone support, and I would have to use email support. I explained the situation, and said that I would be happy to pay if he thought that was the only way – then I asked him if he thought that it was necessary, or if I should try email support, and how long that would take. But he said I’d have to pay for the answer to that question, and hung up on me.

I rang back. The line was a little dodgy, and he hung up on me.

I rang back. He proceeded to rant at me that my phone calls were costing the company money, and that this was the third time I had called, he would have to charge me. He seemed to forget that I had only called three times BECAUSE HE HAD HUNG UP ON ME.

Again, I asked him how long email support would take, and again, he refused to answer on the grounds that I was not paying for technical support (this was after he had informed me that I would be charged regardless). So I said, “Well, if you’ve already charged me, how about giving me some tech support?”. He again asked me to identify myself, and then went off to do some secret nerd stuff, and put me on hold.

While listening to the horrible hold music, I remembered that I had actually updated the site within the last 12 months, and that the password might actually be stored in the Keychain on Sponge Bob the iMac. So I wandered in, accessed the keychain, and found the elusive password.

And hung up on Michael.

Now, as a sometime tech support monkey myself (if I never hear “my ipod’s broken” again it will be too soon, RTFM people), I understand that it’s a tough job. Being polite to morons day in, day out and repeating “is the computer plugged in” would drive most of us spare. But there is no need to behave like a Monty Python skit (“I’m here for an argument” “No you’re not” “well then, why are you arguing with me”) is not very good manners, and a sure sign that your days in tech support are numbered.

I leave you with my favourite tech support joke of all time – the reason why some users are referred to as “12 O’Clock Flashers”.

Click Here. If you ever took a tech support call, you’ll love this.