29.1.11

Today was the babies due date. Most twins are born early, so the date has very little meaning, but still, I have been dreading this day, the last “anniversary” that connected me to this pregnancy, to the hope I had for my babies and the future of my family.

Today, we picked up their ashes. They sit behind the picture of Archie that graces the bookshelves in the living room. Just behind the front door when it opens.

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So after we picked up the ashes, a dragonfly flew into my head. At the funeral, Steph brought stickers, some of which featured dragonflies, and since then I have seen dragonflies often when I have thought about the boys.

We found the grave that contains Nanna and Michael, and the ashes of George. Still unmarked, I was planning to add the boys ashes and add a headstone down the track.

Then we went up the hill to the Presbyterian section of the cemetery, and had a picnic in the rotunda.

Inigo went home with Nanna and Gonad for tonight (so Mark and I can go to the Opera in the Park), and I came home and put on the Joy Luck Club. The Joy Luck Club is my go to movie for when I am feeling sad and need a cry.

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2 thoughts on “29.1.11”

  1. There was a dragonfly hovering over our backyard this morning. I will remember your boys next time I see one and wish them well. Take care.

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