Week three of school. He’s stopped talking about how much he loves school, what he’s looking forward to, who his friends are…
Last week there was a kid in his class following him around and getting in his face saying “I don’t like you”. Then she hit him in the face and knocked his hat off his head.
I had a meeting with Mrs D, and yesterday he told me that the kid had been nice to him. Crisis averted.
Except despite having loads of kids in his class that like him, he is apparently wandering around the school on his own most recess and lunch times.
And he hates school work.
Every other kid in the class finishes their work on time, but Inigo stares off in to space and dawdles. We’ve worked out that he thinks it is boring and just can’t be bothered, but the problem is he can’t be given more interesting work unless he can prove that he can do the easy stuff.
Yesterday he had his first home reader. He asked for more books for today, a bit more of a challenge. But there is a system, Later on, when the teacher has time to spend with each kid and assess their reading level he will be given books that will challenge him a bit more. I get that every kid in the class is just as important as my Squishy, that they all need to have their needs met too. And I so don’t want to be that awful whinging parent that thinks everything their child does is perfect and beyond reproach. I am not that parent, though I am sure I look like it to Mrs D right now 😉
So I just have to be patient. And encouraging, and support what the teacher needs. And try not to freak out that he will end up hating school. Because that is my baggage, and projecting it on him isn’t helpful.
8 thoughts on “Worries”
He’ll find his place and hit his stride and there’s no way he’s going to hate school!
His teacher will get better at knowing how to keep him on task, even when he’s bored (which I do think is actually a valid skill) and the tasks he’s doing will get more interesting soon.
We were told at the start of Kindy for #1 that she’d be starting on the entry level home readers like the rest of the class but would accelerate quickly and that’s exactly what happened. And there’s no reason he can’t be looking at other beginning reader books at home if he’s inclined. (Our school hasn’t started home readers for K yet so not sure what’s in store for #2).
As for wandering on his own at break time – this is really only an issue if (a) it bothers him or (b) he’s otherwise incapable of social interaction. Some kids are just quiet and self contained. I was definitely that kid and look how awesome I am now (okay, poor example :))
It is a bit of dilemma. I have a feeling I will be that whingey parent.
Its so easy to overthink these things, especially at the beginning of the year. I made Amy sick with annoyance asking her questions about school for the first few weeks and she was relieved when I finally stopped asking. I decided after much internal debate and talking with friends and family, to leave her be and watch closely for any signs of anxiety or unhappiness. Once the homework started and we were allowed into the classrooms for reading groups, I got a much better idea of how she was fitting into her peer group and where she was on the reading scale. She soon found her zone and I think we both relaxed. I learnt SO much about her last year that I really thought I already knew…. she is much more of a follower than a leader which suprised me completely. Its not a bad thing actually, but has caused her some distress when children she wants to be friends with just aren’t as interested in her as she is in them. So, its been a rollercoaster ride but mostly up more than down. I tried to think about the year in terms of the whole experience rather than the individual days and weeks and terms. Be strong!!
Hey Lara, it wouldn’t hurt for him to take in a book he can read and show his teacher. She may ask him what he likes about the book and his answer could be “because I can read it myself.” Kindergarten teachers (from my experience) don’t usually test the children for reading. I’ve done a few years of helping every day. I read the book to the child, and then they attempt to read it back to me. If they can do it, then I get another book (just in case they know it by heart already) and then I’ll jump up a level. If I’m unsure about them knowing it by rote, I let them read the book from the back, which always surprises them but they enjoy the challenge. It’s my favourite part of reading with a child, sending them to choose a book from the next level. It’s such an exciting stage. He’ll probably visit the school library soon too. School is a huge adjustment for you both, and the routine isn’t what they’re used to. He will wander around straight into another child who is wandering around. I’m surprised he isn’t still with his class group at this stage, they often keep the kinders together. xxxx
Perhaps he’s tired too. Kindy kids have lots of adjustments to make and it’s tiring. He’s possibly beginning to understand that this really is an everyday commitment, even though he may have known that theoretically. My brother many years ago came home and refused to go back the second day because he hadn’t been taught to read properly!
Do his school reader with him regularly, but allow him to read lots of other things. You don’t have to stick to just the school reader. Variety will keep his interest up. I read everything I could get and in kindy was sent to sixth class to read anything they could throw at me. At age six, my eldest son used to read encyclopaedias for bedtime read in and he was described as being like an old man for his vocabulary.
I went to school in 50s(!!) and we used to get special magazines which we had to put in a folder. I think they were bi-monthly. I was a very fast reader, still am, and in 15 minutes I would have read it all and done the puzzles while others were still working out how to put it in the folder.
Give him variety of reading, good food and early nights and he’ll make his way and thrive.
I spent my entire kindy-sixth class at the same school as my father taught at. That was a disadvantage. I was sickly and missed lots of school. I can understand he feels different. Lots of hugs from you all for him.
Our school absolutely *does* assess reading skills by having the kids read to the teacher so I will be very surprised if that’s not the case at your school, too.
I also meant to mention that teachers intentionally send home books that are pretty easy for kids to read – it builds confidence and enhances enjoyment, which are both important in learning to read. So the level he tests at may not be the level he brings home.
I so know what you mean about projecting your own experiences. Just don’t let that stop you from seeing what he is really feeling. I did that with HJ, trying to convince myself it was me projecting, except it wasn’t… and you know how badly that turned out!
Having said that, lots of kids do successfully make that transition to school. It is normal that after the first few weeks, the first term of kindergarten becomes a slog. They are tired little people trying to be big people and the adrenalin has worn off.
Either way, with that much love around him, he will end up just fine.
I sincerely hope it all gets sorted quickly! As a mother of an Only who hated school, you have my deepest sympathies!