Over the holidays I was discussing with family and friends what makes a good celebrant. When I was married in 2004, our celebrant was very “hands off”, and I practically had to beg him to do a rehearsal with us. At the time, I felt like I needed a little more guidance and hand holding than he gave us. Don’t get me wrong, he was very professional, and performed the ceremony beautifully. But I was left feeling a little lost through the process.
What I needed, was a celebrant that was willing to patiently walk us through all the documentation, and help us to make choices about our ceremony. As it was, we wrote our entire ceremony ourselves! Back then, we didn’t have the moitum in the ceremony, and our vows were said in rhyming couplets in the style of Dr Seuss. It worked, we are still happily married, and though it felt a bit rough and ready at the time, it worked.
I mentioned my feelings about the celebrant, and my brother in law said that he thought that style of celebrant was brilliant! “You don’t need all that hand holding, just do the paperwork and say your words” seem to sum up how he felt.
There are hundreds of blog posts giving advice about how to choose your celebrant, but this “personal style” or “service level” can be very difficult to establish over the phone.
What is important to you in a celebrant? Below are some attributes you might like to consider before you pick up the phone.
- personal style and flair
- level of service (how many weddings per weekend?)
- connection (do you feel comfortable with them)
- availability for rehearsals etc
- will they work with you to write the prefect ceremony, or do it for you?
If you don’t need extra support, tell your celebrant. And if you do, make sure you choose a celebrant that will take the time to make sure that your wedding goes smoothly, right down to every detail.