Disco Knitter

…and most of what I am wearing is clean, is that impressive enough?

After a scare last week, and a mammogram this week, it would appear that I don’t have breast cancer. There is some comfort in knowing that I have already lived through the worst thing I am ever likely to experience, but I am grateful not to have to deal with that particular pile of steaming crap.

But a friend of a friend is. She has two babies, one a little younger than the Squish, and one less than a year old. SHe thought she had a blocked duct, but it’s an aggressive cancer, and she is currently undergoing chemotherapy. Apparently, there is a 90% chance that she will still be alive in five years time.

So after dealing with a metric buttload of misery myself in the past few weeks, I am taking up my knitting in earnest. I am going to knit two chemo caps for two people who need something warm and beautiful on their heads, and I am going to go easy on myself for just a little while, and take the time to knit some love and healing.

Last week, a package came from America. A stunning shawl, knit with love from a dear friend who couldn’t be here to hug me. I wish I had a picture to do it justice, but Cecelia, your shawl has become my lucky shawl. I wore it when I went to have my mammogram done on Tuesday.

Tonights dinner. Hopefully didnt burn the mustard seeds like last time!

Thank you to a dear friend who was there on the other end of the phone when I needed her. Thanks FSM for friends who think it’s ok to sob into the phone, and people who don’t call the police to investigate the crazy lady sobbing into her phone in a car outside their house. And those people who walked past thinking I was dabbing my leaking eyes with a tampon, thank you for not calling the mental health team. It was a Pure Wipe. They are quite absorbent, but do look a lot like tampons when you are sobbing in a car in a quiet suburban street.

Thank you to my parents who want to make it all better for me, but make do with taking the Squish so I can have a day off from pretending to be OK for him.

And the girl in the booze shop who didn’t ask any questions when I bought two bottles of sparkling red and a litre of gin, and then asked for a straw.

There is human kindness everywhere.

(and yes, I am “OK”. No more or less OK than I was yesterday, but today I need to cry).

I have a leave pass next Saturday – Mark has offered to take the Squish away so I can play with yarn. Anyone want to sharpen up their crochet skills with me?

Lien asks, “Like a real workshop, or just a get together? I think I may be able to make it for a few hours!”.

Well, if we can get Andrea to come (and/or somebody else who can crochet and read patterns), then it will be like a real workshop, but if not then we can just muddle through by ourselves

Sarah – does a 9am start work for you? I have to go up to Pearl Beach afterwards, so we’ll finish around 3pm, but if you have to leave earlier, that is fine.

Picked all this for our minestrone lunch. I love having a productive garden!

OMG! Two crochet posts in one day. The world is coming to an end…

I helped the Inner City Knitters Guild people run some learn to knit workshops in libraries in the west this morning, and at one of the libraries, a whole pile of squares had been donated. One of the squares had a really interesting construction, and now I am on the hunt for a pattern, or instructions, as I can’t quite get my head around how it was done, and I’d really like to have a crack at it.

Any ideas?

Can anyone teach me how to do this? My crochet guru is no longer speaking to me, so I need to cast a new net

Am prepared to pay in food and wine/gin.

edit: added some conga rats

99092680, your UNE 2011 ASS-S1 results:
PEAC102: HD
PSYC101: HD
Please dont reply to this message

I wonder what sort of uniform the nerd superhero wears?

There is still a few glitches (can’t leave blog comments), but I have my calendar back, and I have all my blog feeds! Normality is resuming, and I adore my husband. Not just for his good looks!

And tonight is results night. Pizza and red wine are on the menu, my friend Dionne is coming from Newcastle with her kids, and we are going to cover the kitchen in flour and dough while we wait for those crucial text messages. Dionne was in my environmental peace unit, so we are supporting each other.

And tomorrow I am teaching small children to knit. Give me strength!

And here is a picture of a small boy playing an orange ukelele.

Please stop messing with my head. I have been trying to stay relatively stable for a while now, but deleting all of my data from my accounts (or just hiding it from me and giving me incomprehensible instructions for “fixing” it) is depleting my will to exist.

All I want is to look at my (insert expletive) calendar, and know where the (insert expletive) I am supposed to be for the rest of the week, and when I am supposed to be there. I’d also like some certainty around next week too. And I am pretty sure Squishy has a dentists appointment at the end of the month. Actually, is it too much to ask if I can have all of my data back? Please?

The only way I have been able to function since I got out of hospital and started to be able to look after myself again was to stay scheduled up to the eyeballs. Take my schedule away, and I am just a quivering mass.

Inigo wearing the jacket that Jussi knitted before he was born. He’s had a lot of wear out of that one!

So, if my maths is correct, and there is no scaling, that should mean another HD. Will know next Wed night.

Phew.

51/60

So that is 85%, which means, that with my mark for online participation, I should score an HD overall for the unit. I still have to wait until the 14th for official confirmation, but I am pretty confident.

Such a relief. I realized yesterday that I am using uni like a replacement for mothering my boys. My insane need to do well is a transference for the energy I was supposed to be putting into mothering my three boys. Doing well at uni is feeding my need for competence. As if my failure to bring my babies home was a failure that I should have avoided, that I should have had more control over.

I know it is unhinged, so thanks for humouring me while I blather on about results.