Comments on: Government Breastfeeding Strategy – My response http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response Knit One, Hug One.... Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:05:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: lara http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-43046 lara Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:02:07 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-43046 You are such a clever clogs :) The trouble is, we are all so insecure about mothering, we can't stand to have our choices questioned. Society is to blame! You are such a clever clogs :)

The trouble is, we are all so insecure about mothering, we can’t stand to have our choices questioned. Society is to blame!

]]> By: red http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-43032 red Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:33:30 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-43032 We've talked about this before, so you've heard my opinion. I totally understand where you're coming from, and where the ABA is coming from, and you really won't find a more committed breastfeeding advocate than me. But my feeling is that this campaign is going to drive women who already feel bad about not breastfeeding to feel even more defensive - and that's not going to help the cause. I think the only way to improve BF rates is to make it easier, through real, practical measures that mean women have the time, space and real support they need. I don't think our fairly crappy BF rates here in Australia are an education issue. We’ve talked about this before, so you’ve heard my opinion. I totally understand where you’re coming from, and where the ABA is coming from, and you really won’t find a more committed breastfeeding advocate than me.

But my feeling is that this campaign is going to drive women who already feel bad about not breastfeeding to feel even more defensive – and that’s not going to help the cause.

I think the only way to improve BF rates is to make it easier, through real, practical measures that mean women have the time, space and real support they need. I don’t think our fairly crappy BF rates here in Australia are an education issue.

]]> By: miriam http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-43028 miriam Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:55:23 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-43028 For the amateur anthropology angle... i have noticed a general tendency for mothers to disown their choices by cloaking them in the language of necessity. "I had to return to work, I had no choice" "I had to give up breastfeeding" "I had to smack him/give timeouts" "I have to give her chicken nuggets for dinner" We have either weak or compelling reasons for our choices. Sometimes the reasons can be so compelling they are very close to having no choice at all (eg. extreme financial necessity, strongly held values) and sometimes our range of options is restricted for us, but it is rare that we actually have no choice. I suspect we pretend to ourselves and others that we were forced to do something we've chosen in order to avoid judgement. it seems like the easy way out, but is it? By limiting our freedom, we fail to honour the difficulties of having to make these choices. We also dilute the pain of those who are in those rare situations when there truly is no choice, by mixing it with the excuses of those who did have options. If I want to allow other women to own their choices and to speak honestly about what they have chosen to do, then I would need to a) challenge their perception of necessity b) challenge them to ensure that their choices are made on the best information available but also c) help them make their choice in a circumstance that is as free of the fear of judgement as possible. So they don't feel compelled to hide behind the cloak of necessity. For the amateur anthropology angle… i have noticed a general tendency for mothers to disown their choices by cloaking them in the language of necessity.
“I had to return to work, I had no choice”
“I had to give up breastfeeding”
“I had to smack him/give timeouts”
“I have to give her chicken nuggets for dinner”

We have either weak or compelling reasons for our choices. Sometimes the reasons can be so compelling they are very close to having no choice at all (eg. extreme financial necessity, strongly held values) and sometimes our range of options is restricted for us, but it is rare that we actually have no choice.

I suspect we pretend to ourselves and others that we were forced to do something we’ve chosen in order to avoid judgement. it seems like the easy way out, but is it?
By limiting our freedom, we fail to honour the difficulties of having to make these choices. We also dilute the pain of those who are in those rare situations when there truly is no choice, by mixing it with the excuses of those who did have options.

If I want to allow other women to own their choices and to speak honestly about what they have chosen to do, then I would need to
a) challenge their perception of necessity
b) challenge them to ensure that their choices are made on the best information available
but also
c) help them make their choice in a circumstance that is as free of the fear of judgement as possible. So they don’t feel compelled to hide behind the cloak of necessity.

]]> By: Super Sarah http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-43018 Super Sarah Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:41:12 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-43018 Well said, I think the issue is such a hard one because it also centers on something we are all familiar with, good old Mummy guilt. There has been such a bounce back where everyone tries to make everyone else feel better about their choices when ultimately, as you said: breastfeeding is the best possible choice you can make and no, no one ever said it was going to be easy. I found breastfeeding Amy very easy, I was lucky, but then she weaned at 10 months and no matter how hard I tried, she just wasnt interested. I realise now with hindsight that its a common age for babies to refuse the breast and I should have persevered. With Stella its been a harder road to establish breastfeeding early on and I plan to persevere! Well said, I think the issue is such a hard one because it also centers on something we are all familiar with, good old Mummy guilt. There has been such a bounce back where everyone tries to make everyone else feel better about their choices when ultimately, as you said: breastfeeding is the best possible choice you can make and no, no one ever said it was going to be easy. I found breastfeeding Amy very easy, I was lucky, but then she weaned at 10 months and no matter how hard I tried, she just wasnt interested. I realise now with hindsight that its a common age for babies to refuse the breast and I should have persevered. With Stella its been a harder road to establish breastfeeding early on and I plan to persevere!

]]> By: Fe http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-43002 Fe Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:43:38 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-43002 Articulate.. and full of good old common sense! Well done! I breastfed Toto until he weaned himself when I was preggers with Boo. I had to wean Boo at 8 weeks because of the meds I was taking... ... and I feel no guilt. I did at the time of weaning.. it was agony for me as I had intended to breastfeed him for as long aspossible. As you said, I did the best that I could at the time. I love that women are becoming more educated about this topic. I think it's a ridiculous excuse for a cover up to parlay that into offending women who couldn't breastfeed. It certainly doesn't offend me. xoxo Articulate.. and full of good old common sense!

Well done!

I breastfed Toto until he weaned himself when I was preggers with Boo. I had to wean Boo at 8 weeks because of the meds I was taking…

… and I feel no guilt.

I did at the time of weaning.. it was agony for me as I had intended to breastfeed him for as long aspossible.

As you said, I did the best that I could at the time.

I love that women are becoming more educated about this topic. I think it’s a ridiculous excuse for a cover up to parlay that into offending women who couldn’t breastfeed. It certainly doesn’t offend me. xoxo

]]> By: Ali http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-42998 Ali Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:24:34 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-42998 I saw something about this today. You have just summed it up so beautifully. I saw something about this today. You have just summed it up so beautifully.

]]> By: Bronwyn http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-42997 Bronwyn Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:11:55 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-42997 Lara, it's great you are so passionate about this. I remember when Inigo was born your struggle with BF (as related by Mark) as it rang so true to my experience with Rory. I also struggled terribly for 3 months (including breast abscess and visits to breast surgeon every 2 days for about 2 weeks to drain the puss - sorry TMI. But we succeeded, he thrived and continued for 17 months until he decided enough. With Abi I was even more sure that breast was best given the way she entered the world. She took to it way better than her brother and sucked well at 34 weeks gestation. But she never thrived. I did everything I could. Even after she completely refused breast at around 10 months I continued expressing for her until she reached 12 months - this was important for my head more than anything. Anyway, in the end it turns out she didn't thrive on my BM because she couldn't. Turns out she has cows milk protein allergy (even though I excluded this from my diet several times in her first year to try to work out what was going on) and quite possibly breast milk intollerance too - go figure that - I didn't even know that was possible. So the upshot is I feel incredibly guilty for not successfully BF her and also incredibly guilty for insisting on BF her when she truly would have been better off without. Hmmm, I guess what I am trying to say is, yes I believe you are right but also, even well informed mothers trying to do their best feel guilty about just about everything and if someone like me who really believes in BF feels guilty when my head (and husband) tells me that's really dumb then the current debate will make many mothers feel guilty and that isn't necessarily fair...... :( Lara, it’s great you are so passionate about this. I remember when Inigo was born your struggle with BF (as related by Mark) as it rang so true to my experience with Rory. I also struggled terribly for 3 months (including breast abscess and visits to breast surgeon every 2 days for about 2 weeks to drain the puss – sorry TMI. But we succeeded, he thrived and continued for 17 months until he decided enough. With Abi I was even more sure that breast was best given the way she entered the world. She took to it way better than her brother and sucked well at 34 weeks gestation. But she never thrived. I did everything I could. Even after she completely refused breast at around 10 months I continued expressing for her until she reached 12 months – this was important for my head more than anything. Anyway, in the end it turns out she didn’t thrive on my BM because she couldn’t. Turns out she has cows milk protein allergy (even though I excluded this from my diet several times in her first year to try to work out what was going on) and quite possibly breast milk intollerance too – go figure that – I didn’t even know that was possible. So the upshot is I feel incredibly guilty for not successfully BF her and also incredibly guilty for insisting on BF her when she truly would have been better off without. Hmmm, I guess what I am trying to say is, yes I believe you are right but also, even well informed mothers trying to do their best feel guilty about just about everything and if someone like me who really believes in BF feels guilty when my head (and husband) tells me that’s really dumb then the current debate will make many mothers feel guilty and that isn’t necessarily fair…… :(

]]> By: Simon http://lara.nettle.org/blog/2009/11/16/government-breastfeeding-strategy-my-response/comment-page-1#comment-42996 Simon Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:03:39 +0000 http://lara.nettle.org/blog/?p=1921#comment-42996 http://www.arts.usyd.edu.au/departs/media/pgl?id=200229466 http://www.arts.usyd.edu.au/departs/media/pgl?id=200229466

]]>